The Modern-Day Wet Nurse

In days gone by mothers who had trouble breastfeeding their babies would turn to other women to step up and lend a hand, or more to the point, a boob, to ensure the baby thrived.

It's common knowledge that many wealthy women of history did not feed their babies themselves but employed wet nurses, women who had usually recently had a baby of their own and who was judged to have ample supply. In more traditional cultures it was not out of place for women to cross-feed each other's babies and young children. After all, the old saying it takes a village to raise a child had to come from somewhere!

But in today's world of individuals, consumerism, marketing and media what options are there for women who can't breastfeed? The most obvious answer is formula (or artificial baby milk) but are there other options? Yes!!!

The World Health Organisation has developed a preferential list of different ways to feed a baby. I think many people would be surprised to see where artificial baby milk comes on the list - 4th! 4th!!!

1st - mother breastfeeding her own baby
2nd - mother expressing her own milk to feed baby
3rd - mother using donor milk from other mothers
4th - artificial baby milk
 

 Expressed and frozen breast milk waiting collection

I have been donating milk over the past few months to a family not far away and I've been getting some mixed reactions. Most people are surprised ("Isn't it illegal?"), some are impressed ("Wow, what a nice thing to do for someone") and many are curious ("But why?").

This is one organisation that facilitates peer-to-peer milk sharing however there are others.

If you are interested in reading more about the risks and dangers of artificial baby milk there are links here, here, here just to list a few.

Starting Early

It's been a while but I'm joining in with Wordless Wednesday at Faith, Hope & a Whole Lotta Love.

Boy, It's a Responsibility!

 

 Elliot's morning job list. Archie also gets in and gets his jobs done too!

As the Mum of boys, I have an awareness of my responsibility to raise them to be good men. Men that treat women well, men that will make good partners and husbands, men that pull their weight around the house. While that is all years and years away I strongly believe in planting the seeds of this responsibility early. Children are much more capable than many people give them credit for. If you scaffold and guide them, if you make it possible for them to succeed then they will generally rise to the challenge.

 El's self-made bed, complete with pj's under his pillow and baby asleep and tucked in.

A few months before Kindy was due to start this year I started to talk to Elliot about jobs that he needed to do in the mornings to get ready to go out. Together we came up with a list. At first he needed help with everything on the list. Luckily for me he's a lover of a routine so it took him oh, about a day to remember everything on the list! Over time the list has been added to, amended and changed to suit our changing circumstances. Elliot has also changed in that he now completes the list independently (apart from cleaning his teeth, I have a turn after he's had a turn). He even makes his bed and Archie's bed, usually as part of a surprise for me which also involves choosing clothes and getting himself dressed.

Archie's bed after Elliot has made it. Sideways quilt, rumpled blankets and all!

Sure, he often has his clothes inside out, back to front or completely mismatching. The beds are always rumpled and lumpy but I wouldn't have it any other way. He's showing me he's capable and responsible. He's proud of his success in doing these 'grown up' tasks.

My No Rubbish Lunchbox Challenge

With Elliot going to Kindy this year 5 days a fortnight I spent a lot of the Christmas holidays searching for a suitable lunchbox for him. The Kindy handbook said that lunchboxes could go in the fridge but insulated bags needed to stay in their lockers for the day with an ice brick. I wanted his lunch in the fridge, summer here is just too hot to have food out for hours and hours. I struggled to find a lunchbox that would fit with our 'no rubbish' beliefs. I finally found the perfect lunchbox and I love it! And Elliot being a fan of everything having a place, he loves it too!

Unlike most Mum's I don't have the school food dilemma, Elliot will gladly eat the same thing everyday and likes that the 'right' thing goes in the 'right' part of his lunchbox.

So he everyday he takes a container of natural yoghurt with some frozen blueberries and passionfruit 

and another container of dried fruit.

In the big part of his lunchbox he takes a sandwich 

(this week he went all out and took some leftover zucchini slice!!!) 

and on top some green beans or carrot sticks and a packaged cheese, which is the only packaged/processed food that we buy

In the last compartment are another couple of pieces of fruit and a mini muffin from the freezer.

The only thing I don't like is that there is nowhere big enough for a whole banana so he just takes half a banana one day and half the next day. Not that that is really a problem with the way banana prices are likely to go soon!

So there we have it! A cheap ($11) and easy to replace if it gets lost (we got it from the grocery shop) lunchbox that means no rubbish going into landfill, no commercial or processed food muddling his little mind and body, and a Mama that can sleep at night knowing her little man may be away from her through the day but at least he's still eating good food!

Oh, this is the 4th week of Kindy and we've already had to have a discussion about Coke! I just have to share this little story, it just shows how innocent and wonderful children are (when we let them be). Elliot came home from Kindy and our conversation around the dinner table went like this:

Elliot: "My friend xxxxx said his Daddy drinks Coke"
Mummy: "Oh, do you know what Coke is?"
Elliot: "Nope"
Daddy: "It's a sometimes drink that you have when you're older, like, 20"
Elliot: "Ok Daddy"
Mummy: "What did you say to xxxxx?"
Elliot: "I said, 'My Daddy drinks water'"

I do so love my beautiful little man!

We Survived!

First day of Kindy done! No tears shed by either of us (I'm so glad I didn't make a scene!) and while the day was not 'wave goodbye to Mummy at the door, come at pick me up later' it was not as terrible as I was expecting.

All Elliot wanted to do was explore the fort and outdoor play area and then get stuck into the collage table. He wasn't such a fan of mat time and just wanted me to sit with him. He also sat as close to the edge of the mat as possible! He was hesitant about joining in, but once Mummy was a flippy floppy scarecrow he was fine! Archie and I left during Morning Tea time and came back about an hour or so later to see him playing on the fort (yet again!) with a couple of other little guys, chatting away, so that was heartwarming.

 Another half-day today and then a few days off until proper hours start next week.

My Safe Little World

This Friday marks the end of my safe little world of having my boys home with me. Next week Elliot enters the big wide world of Kindy. Here in Queensland, that is the year before full-time school. A part-time, non-compulsory year at a private or community Kindy.

He will be doing a five day fortnight from 9 - 2:30. This is his first time away from me without being in the care of a close family member or friend and I'm a little nervous. I'm not nervous about the care he will receive while at Kindy. His teacher is amazing, her ideals are very much in line with mine when it comes to Early Childhood Education, she runs a fully play-based curriculum, completely child-led and child-centred. She is passionate and dedicated and just a warm, caring personality.

I'm nervous for all the things he'll be exposed to that will be out of my control. Things the other kids will say, things the other kids will do. I'm nervous about him needing me and me not being there. I'm nervous about his sweet little innocent personality being walked over by more dominant children. I'm nervous about other people not getting his funny little quirks that are just par for the course around our house.

Despite my well-hidden reservations, he is so excited. I know he'll relish the routine of Kindy, he's already practiced packing his bag and he's picked out his clothes for his first day. He's practiced telling his teacher that "I have special suncream in my bag that is just for me because the other suncream might make my face go funny" (he's allergic to regular suncream and his face comes out in hives!)

So Monday is going to be a big day in our house. I'm hoping I'll be brave, but I can't promise anything!

Natural Learning

Elliot reached a massive milestone at the end of last week, he wrote his name for the first time ever! And it is legible! He wrote it completely from memory. See what you think!

I'm really not a big pusher when it comes to the boys' "education" for want of a better word. Being a teacher I've seen many kids being pushed into doing things before they're ready and it just ends in disaster. Better to just let them embrace each new thing when they're interested and go from there. We are very lucky that Elliot just seems to have a real interest in numbers and letters (numbers in particular) and he has a great memory. He loves jigsaw puzzles and things that have method and order. Anything sporty on the other hand, good luck! :)

So after he wrote his name he then went on to write Archie, Daddy, Matt and all the numbers from 1 to 20. I wrote them and then he copied them. He did want to write Mummy and Vicki too but I could see he was getting to his limit so suggested he go and have a play and come back in a few minutes. So in typical Elliot style he went and read some books!

I am so proud of him. I know he'll do brilliantly at Kindy next year but I am going to miss him. :(

Edit: Thanks to Helen who reminded me that El actually goes to kindy this year. In two weeks! Argh!!! But that is a whole post of it's own :(

I'm Working on Something Special

I am so blessed to be creating something unique and wonderful and amazing for the third time.

I'm working on Baby Number Three!

I love being pregnant and I have relatively easy pregnancies, although having two full-on toddlers at home full-time has been tiring to say the least. Over the past couple of months, the TV has definitely been my friend. Because Elliot isn't a day sleeper I'd put on  Playschool for him when Archie went to sleep because it'd be the only chance I'd get to put my feet up and on more than one occasion Elliot has woken me up after a quick kip on the lounge to let me know that Playschool has finished and he's turned the tele off, can we please go and play now? Now that I'm past the first trimester I'm hoping that the fatigue has run its course and I'll be back to my usual self.

I'm so excited to meet this new bubba and introduce the boys to their new baby brother or sister (for the record, Elliot thinks sister).

I'm (to be perfectly honest) daunted by the idea of parenting three young children, two can be hard work some days! Elliot will have just turned 4 a couple of weeks before the new arrival arrives and Archie will be 2yrs and 2 months, so they'll still be young.

I'm so excited to have started another journey with another new person. A journey that will contain joy, tears, hope, fears, frustration, elation and just about every emotion in between.

This journey of motherhood sure is an interesting one!

Sleep, Where For Art Thou?

Over the three and a half years I've been on this parenting journey I think I've used just about every method of getting a baby or toddler to sleep there is. I have sung, rocked, danced, pushed the pram, bounced on a fit ball, driven, breastfed, patted bottoms, and even in one moment of desperation, control cried (all that ended up happening was both of us crying, and I swore I'd never do it again). All of this has taught me one thing. Babies (and toddlers and children) will sleep when they are ready to. All we can do is help them along the ride.

Elliot, now three and a half, has always been a good sleeper - once he's asleep! He is a deep and sound sleeper but not good at actually going to sleep. When he was a little over two he just said to me one day when we were having the sleep battle "But I just need people with me". What can you say to that? He has always needed and still does need someone (me, Daddy, Nanna, Pop) to be with him until he is asleep. Fortunately for me (cause I get him into bed and Matt does Archie) he seems to have found a solution, he goes to sleep in Mummy's and Daddy's bed on the condition that he's in there by himself. Later when we're ready to go to bed Matt will take him back into his room. If he wakes through the night, he simply brings himself back in with us and more often than not, neither Matt nor I realise he's there til the morning (or when we're up with Archie)!

 Elliot (7 weeks) being nursed to sleep by Pop

Elliot (14 months) waking up with Nanna after a sleepover.

 

And on to Archie. For every bit that Elliot is a deep sleeper, Archie is a light sleeper. He has the same issues as El with needing people, so someone has always needed to put him to sleep but then he's awake. And then back to sleep, then awake, then back to sleep, rinse, repeat. For the first, hmmm, probably ten months of his life he fed every 1-2 hours around the clock, day and night. To say it was exhausting is an understatement because while sometimes he'd feed back to sleep, more often than not at night, he was awake. Sometimes cranky, sometimes just awake and wanting to play. It was through all of this that we seriously started co-sleeping because we were just too tired to do anything else and anyway, nothing else worked!!! But eventually (and I mean, in the last couple of months) he's just gotten into a little sleeping routine that works for all of us. Matt takes him to bed in the evening and they rock in the chair and sing songs. When he wakes the first time through the night he comes in with us. Some nights he has a feed back to sleep, some nights he has a feed and isn't asleep but puts himself back to sleep and some nights he's not interested in a feed and just fusses around giving us pats and kisses and then puts himself to sleep, usually on top of the covers with his feet in our faces. He is generally only up once or twice a night now which I'm just over the moon about considering where we've been on his sleep journey!

Archie (4 weeks) have a nap with Nanna *

 Archie (5 weeks) sleeping in the sling which was a sleep lifesaver for both boys. *

I'm really pleased that both boys have found their own sleeping patterns because, as tiring as it has been, I can sit back and know that we listened to them and what they needed at the time. We respected them as little people and didn't impose unrealistic expectations which would have set us and them up for failure (aside from that one horrid moment of controlled crying, which failed dismally). We were willing to give them the time they needed.

* When going through all the baby photos for sleep pics, I realised that we don't have many of Archie. At first I put this down to being the second child, poor hard done by wee man he is, but then when I was talking to Matt about it he said "It's because he didn't sleep!"

Painting with Kids - the easy way!

After having a much needed home day the other day, the boys and I got to the afternoon and needed something to do. I couldn't be bothered (as terrible as it sounds) to get all the painting and craft things out for Elliot to decide 2 minutes into the activity that I had to finish it off because he'd had enough. I also couldn't be bothered getting something for Elliot to do and then having to distract Archie with something else while El worked on.it (probably for said 2 minutes).

I decided that water painting on the verandah would keep them both occupied for a while, and boy oh boy, did it work! They both were completely engaged for at least half an hour, until Archie decided it was more fun to tip the containers out and splash in the puddles. Meh, worked for me! After that El had had enough so went off to the garden and Archie swiftly followed.

I just gave them containers of water coloured with food colouring and some sponges and brushes and off they went, painting the verandah balustrading and the walls and windows of the house.

It was such a cheap (super duper cheap), super easy, not super messy and super duper fun! Super!

A Day of Journeys Ending Part 2

Almost exactly two years ago yesterday, my then 14 month old baby was going into hospital for surgery to have grommets inserted. Yesterday, he passed his final hearing test with flying colours after both the grommets came out a couple of months ago!!!

It has been a long road, but we are so glad he had the surgery even though I was so apprehensive about putting such a little man under a general anaesthetic. In the months before the surgery Elliot suffered from 'recurrent' ear infections (it was pretty much just one big, long ear infection) and severe glue ear in both ears. He was constantly on antibiotics until the GP decided that they were doing nothing and there was no point in continuing with them. That was a great day because I hated giving him medicine that I knew was doing nothing. His hearing test came back that he had a severe hearing loss in both ears and the fact that he had even a couple of words was amazing. The GP referred us to an ENT (an Ear, Nose and Throat Surgeon) and then we were on the waiting list. It was meant to be a 2 month wait but fortunately the next week the receptionist rang saying they had a cancellation and an appointment was available the next week!

After an anxious wait at the ENT's, she finally saw us and within about two minutes of being in the consultation room she told me that he would need grommets in both ears. She said normally they like to wait and observe with children this young, but his case was severe (when I told her the infections had been going on for at least 6 months she was a bit shocked!) enough to put grommets in straight away. She had an opening for surgery in a couple of weeks and he was booked in!

The day of surgery rolled around and as Matt had just started his new job he was unable to take the day off work. As Elliot had to fast before surgery, my Mum came with us. I was only a couple of months pregnant with Archie and Mum was concerned about how I would go not being able to eat for that long! I'm so glad she came with us because it was such a long day and it didn't turn out to be as smooth sailing as everyone had told us it would.

The fasting was really hard. Elliot was (and still is) a big eater. He loves food and not being able to eat for such a long time was difficult. They put us in a room that was not designed for children (they were renovating the kids' ward) and there was not even a cot for him, just a regular hospital bed. We didn't take many toys or books because we were told there would be a toy room but we couldn't access that either. He ended up getting massive cabin fever, but luckily he went to sleep in the sling once the doctors had done their consultations. Thank goodness for the sling!

When we were called for surgery he was still asleep and the anaesthetist said that was fine, she could put him under while he was asleep in the sling and then I could take him out and put him on the table. She tried to get the needle in one hand, but he woke up screaming and she couldn't get it in. She then tried on the other hand, but that didn't work either. By this time he was bordering on hysterical and she just kept trying alternating between hands. She ended up giving up with the IV and decided to put him on the table and put the mask on. Because he was so worked up it took four of us to hold him down while she put the mask on. Eventually he went to sleep and I walked back up to the room to wait for him to come back. I walked back the whole way shaking, in tears and covered in my little mans blood. It was horrible. I was so thankful that Mum was with me because I'm sure the nurses thought I was a bit crazy.

As I wasn't allowed to be in recovery when he woke up, a nurse came into the room, and then the surgeon followed. Surgery had gone well but he had an infection in both ears at the time of the operation (big surprise!) and as a result he'd have to have antibiotic drops. The ENT explained that this would cause him to be in more pain that normal after surgery. After a little while longer another nurse told us that he was on his way up from recovery. I could hear him crying from down the hallway so went out to get him, but legally they had to carry him until we got to the room so I walked along beside, rubbing his arm and trying to talk to him. He took what seemed like an age to calm down, but after some painkillers he did, but it felt like an eternity. After another hour or so we left the hospital and came home.

Due to the infection he had to have drops in every few hours and they were very painful because the grommets allowed the drops to go right into his ear drum. I couldn't do it myself because as soon as he saw the bottle he'd run away and start to cry and I couldn't hold him down and do the drops as well! Luckily we had some wonderful friends living across the road so I would take him over to their house and their lovely 3 year old daughter would distract him by singing songs while I put the drops in. The husband/Dad of said wonderful family was a 4th year med student at the time, so he was very patient with me ringing and coming over, asking him to look, answering my questions, was this amount of goo coming out normal? How will we get the drops through the goo and into his ear? When will the infection heal? Poor Rob even did some 'back deck doctoring' and got an empty syringe and sucked out some of the goo so the drops could get through! Completely disgusting but it did the job!

After a week or so the infection cleared and then we had the fun of life with grommets. He was not allowed to get any water in his ears so hair washing involved ear plugs, swimming involved ear plugs and a bathing cap, showers were a thing of the past and impromptu baths with friends involved the joy of me or other parents yelling "NO SPLASHING!" which makes baths with friends decidedly less fun!

Since the operation he has had one ear infection (about a month after the operation) and no other problems. His speech took off like a shot and it was amazing to see him be able to hear properly. We lived near a small airport and light planes going overhead was quite normal, especially on weekends, and one day not long after the post-op infection healed a plane went over and he looked up shocked. He'd never heard it before!!!

So we are all hoping that this is the end of Elliot's ear dramas. Fingers crossed that it is all over!!!

A Simple Reminder

In a Wordless Wednesday post a couple of weeks ago I posted a picture of the house that will hopefully be ours in a month or so once it settles. Conditions of the settlement are the usual building and pest and finance and also an extra condition of the settlement of our property in Brisbane. Everything had been going swimmingly until a chance conversation with a lovely friend and old neighbour yesterday put everything in a spin.

As a result I spent all yesterday afternoon on the phone with the real estate agent and property manager, and most of the day today on the phone, again with the property manager, but also the agency principal, our solicitors, the Department of Fair Trading and the REIQ, the professional body for real estate agents here in Queensland. In between all these emotional, difficult and tiring phone calls was one lovely phone call to a dear friend who listened to my moaning and groaning with not a word of complaint! Thanks Helen! Thanks also to my wonderful Mum who listened and dealt with my tears in the way only a Mother can!

Today I was also spoilt by both the boys, each in their own special way.

Archie again had a night of optional sleep, so Matt and I were both up until after 1, then I was up again at 2ish, 5 and actually had a sleep in until 7! As a result he was soooo tired today he slept from 12 to 2:30 with a quick feed back to sleep in the middle. What a treat!

Elliot is a boy who likes to be with people he loves all the time so phone calls can be hard. I've gotten very good at being able to carry on two conversations at once, although I'm sure the person I'm on the phone with doesn't always appreciate it! He must have sensed today that the phone calls were different. Between calls I'd play a quick game of snap, or do a quick puzzle with him but for the most part he was on his own. During one phone call I looked over to see what he was up to and saw this:

He had lined up and ordered his Thomas the Tank Engine number cards in the correct order all by himself! We did it together for the first time yesterday, and I knew he'd enjoy it because it combines his loves of numbers and lining things up!

In this one simple act I saw his pride in completing this activity of his own choosing, I was so thankful for his patience during my phone calls and I was immediately reminded that in this crazy world it is the little things that matter, being at home with the people I love.

Testing The Boundaries

Today has been a very trying parenting day.

We're all still a bit out of sync from a health scare of Matt's on Sunday night that saw him and I in the Emergency Room for a bit over four hours, and then me up with Archie until 2am when we got home. We had left both boys sleeping at home with Matt's Aunty, but he woke up at about 11pm and wouldn't re-settle. We got home at 12:30am to see Archie and Matt's Aunty reading books in the dimly-lit lounge room! Elliot slept through the whole thing!

So we had a quiet day yesterday (apart from some very exciting news that I'll post about tomorrow!). Matt had the day off and spent most of the day relaxing on the lounge. I did our usual Monday stuff, playing at a friend's house in the morning, home for lunch and sleeps, then a walk to the butcher in the afternoon. Archie had a terrible nights sleep last night, probably still getting over being up for 5 hours the night before.

So this morning I thought we'd all be refreshed and we headed off to music, our newly found Tuesday morning activity. The boys love their music time, singing songs, bopping around and playing instruments. After a 30 minute music session, morning tea is provided (for Mum's and kids!!!) and then the kids have a bit of a play. Well it all was going beautifully until playtime.

Elliot is having trouble keeping his hands off Archie, and not in a good way. He has never done anything super hurtful or mean, just niggly little squeeze here, nudge there. It is however enough to just plain wear me down. I've tried everything I can think of. We have ignored the negative and super-praised the positive. We've been super strict and called him on it every single time. I've yelled. I've spoken to him calmly. I'm ashamed to admit that I have even squeezed his fingers to show him that it hurts. All these things have done absolutely nothing.

At playtime today at music a few of the boys were playing on a little stage at one end of the hall, Elliot and Archie were both up there. Elliot and Archie were walking around together and El was holding Archie's jumper, they were getting close to the edge and before I could say anything Archie was over the edge! It was absolutely horrible. I yelled. Archie did the silent cry, you know, when they are in so much shock or pain that no sound comes out. I cried. Elliot sat with a completely stunned look on his face. Thank goodness most of the people had left and there were only a few friends to witness the debacle. Not one of my finest parenting moments.

Unfortunately the day didn't get much better. Archie has only had a short sleep, El no sleep at all. I had a fall carrying Archie and slammed my back into the handles of a chest of drawers. We had to go to a meeting at the bank this afternoon (with two tired, cranky, over it boys) and they ran riot. They were noisy, ignored all the toys and food I had packed and made it so difficult. When we left all the ladies at the counter gave us those "poor you, you've got horrible children" looks. So I got back in the car and cried again.

So now we'll have early dinner, early baths, early bed and pray that tonight is a good night, and tomorrow is a better day.

Oh, if anyone has any advice about El's little issue, anything we could try, please, let me know.

Sliding Good Fun!!!

At the moment I have two boys who are incredibly clingy.

I know what Archie's caper is, he has cut at least two eye teeth over the past few days. The bottom pair are definitely through although I have no idea about the top pair, I'm not game to put my finger in his bitey little mouth! As a result he is sleeping better (go figure?) but so incredibly clingy through the day. If his feet are touching the ground we're doing well. If they're touching the ground and he's not crying it's even better! Most of the time he's been in the Ergo (a.k.a. my lifesaver) or I've just been carrying him around. Not very conducive to getting stuff done, but it seems to be a bit of a 'go with the flow' week.

Elliot's clinginess, on the other hand, is a complete mystery. The optimist in me is hoping it's just a phase and he'll grow out of it soon. The pessimist in me is imagining the years ahead being a torrent of tears and tantrums, full of wanting me there, but not wanting me to do anything in particular. It's tiring to say the least!

After rearranging all the toys today we HAD to get out of the house and into the backyard. Unfortunately our house is not conducive to outside play so it can seem like a bit of a mission. I'd love to be able to open a door and let the boys run wild, but in a highset house on a busy road with bad fencing it is just not an option. So this afternoon we went and just played, no gardening, watering, washing. Just playing. And it was so much fun! Both boys love a slide and luckily we have two! They were having race after race so I was able to just sit on the grass and take photos! It was exactly what I needed after a clingy day!

Elliot is very interested in taking photos at the moment. Unfortunately his hands are a bit too small to manipulate our big DSLR camera. This was his attempt at capturing the potato patch. Not a bad shot of his boot!