Friday, July 2, 2010

Time For Some Honesty

This blog is about our journey as a family trying to live simply and mindfully and you can read a bit more about why we are on this journey here. One thing I've not really written about is my own personal journey of moving away from my family and friends. So now, I will, in the interests of keeping this blog honest and not "Oh my gosh, we have the perfect life, look at us!!"

It has been hard. Really hard. We moved here when Elliot had just turned two and Archie was 2 months. We moved from a street in which some of my best friends literally lived within shouting distance (and we often did shout out to each other). We moved from my very supportive parents who we saw a couple of times a week. Elliot did not adjust to moving well, and we've had some really hard days with him. Archie is most definitely not an easy baby. He doesn't sleep, he feeds a lot, he is just very demanding of my time. Which is fine, I'm his Mum, that's what I'm here for. But it is very tiring and draining. Apart from when we visit my parents, or when they come up I have no 'extra' help with the children. I can't leave them with someone and go to the hairdresser, or get a coffee by myself. I feel guilty if I do this on the weekend because I feel like we should be having family time together.

It is getting easier. I still have days that are incredibly difficult, but I think about how far we've come. I think about how I've grown in the past year. I have more confidence in myself and my ability to do this incredible job that is mothering, whether I have family and friends surrounding me or not. I know that if I can get through the past year I will be all the more strong when other difficulties come my way. I've learnt that friendships change and grow.

I've made some wonderful friends here, some of whom I clicked with immediately. You know when you just meet people and you get each other? I am actually having morning tea with some of these ladies tomorrow morning, a very rare outing with friends by myself since Archie was born, in fact I can probably count on one hand the number of times I've left the house without him and done something fun!

So at the moment, that is where I am on this journey. I am learning and growing everyday. Sometimes there is a backwards step, but there are always forward steps too. I'm so thankful that I'm on this road, learning and growing. I'm so thankful that I have wonderful, understanding family and friends.

Thanks Shel, love you and miss you xxx


  1. I am so blessed to know you Vicki. :) We all go through these hard times, and definitely learn lots and come out stronger. I think you're wonderful. Such a dedicated Mama and a great friend! Looking forward very much to seeing you in the morning! xo

  2. Oh Vic, I read your post and it was as though I was saying it myself. We moved away from all our family and friends two years ago...I was pregnant with Miss E at the time and it was so lonely & isolating. She too has been a very demanding baby and toddler and I feel as though she is always attached to me. On the weekend, I had 4 hours on my own...the longest I have been away from the girls at the same time. My closest family live over an hour away and I am not able to just drop the kids with mum for a quick eyebrow wax. Saying that, I have now developed a wonderful group of friends who have become like a family to me. It is hard somedays...I totally get you! But you should be proud of what you have done. Sending much love your way. xxx

  3. Thanks guys! It is so hard some days, but I'm getting there! xxx

  4. I hear you. I am in the exact same boat. Living in Australia and my family is scattered around Canada and Europe. My husband's parents live here, but they both work full-time so there is not much "help". To top it off my husband comes home on average between 930pm and 1030pm 5 days a week and also works every single Sunday from 8am to 7pm. Saturday is out one day together as a family so I hate doing anything by myself, even though I need it, because I want to be hanging out together. I hope moving is and becomes everything you'd hoped for. I am sure it will be because you followed your heart. xo m.